Classic Riddles:

What do you have if an ax falls on your car?
Answer: An ax-i-dent (accident).
Where did Pilgrims land when they arrived in America?
Answer: On their feet.
When should you strike a match?
Answer: Only when it becomes violent.
What always ends everything?
Answer: The letter "g."
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?
Answer: Lawsuits.
What is in the army and is corny?
Answer: A colonel (kernel).
When is the best time to have lunch?
Answer: After breakfast!
What makes a man bald-headed?
Answer: Lack of hair.
What is it that one needs most in the long run?
Answer: Your breath.
What do you call a man when a Marine sits on him?
Answer: Submarine.
An old fashioned bike wheel has 21 spokes. How many spaces are between the spokes - 20, 21, or 22?
Answer: 21; draw it and count them.
Who succeeded the first President?
Answer: The second one!
What animal keeps the best time?
Answer: A watchdog.
How do you make a Venetian blind?
Answer: Poke him in the eye!
Think fast: There's an electric train traveling south. The wind is from the north-west. In which direction would the smoke from the train be blowing?
Answer: An electric train has no smoke!
Why should you always carry a watch when crossing a desert?
Answer: Because it has a spring in it.
How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Answer: Practice, practice, practice!
What is the second most used letter in the English language? Hint: it is also the first letter of the most used word in the English language.
Answer: The letter "T."
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Answer: A garbage truck!
How can you avoid hitting your fingers when driving in a nail with a hammer?
Answer: Hold the hammer with both hands.
A man went on a trip on Friday, stayed for 2 days and returned on Friday. How is that possible?
Answer: Friday is a horse!
Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
Answer: It was stuck on the bottom of the chicken's foot.
When is a yellow dog most likely to enter a house?
Answer: When the door is open.
Why isn't your nose twelve inches long?
Answer: Because it would then be a foot.
What walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon, and 3 legs in the evening?
Answer: A man - crawls as a baby, then walks on 2 feet, then uses a cane (3 legs) as an old man.
What has five eyes, but cannot see?
Answer: The Mississippi River.
Which one of our Presidents had the largest shoes?
Answer: The president with the largest feet.
When is a doctor most annoyed?
Answer: When he is out of "patients."
What has a foot on each end and one in the middle?
Answer: A yardstick.
Some months have thirty days and some months have thirty-one days. How many months have twenty-eight days?
Answer: All twelve months have 28 days. Some have more as well.
At the hardware store I was quoted 12 cents for one, 24 cents for 50, and 36 cents for 144. I wanted six. What was I buying and how much did it cost me?
Answer: Prices quoted were for house numbers at 12 cents per number. A number'6' cost me 12 cents.
What has a head like a cat, feet like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn't a cat?
Answer: A kitten.
What is it that by losing an eye has nothing left but a nose?
Answer: The word NOISE.
Compose a grammatical and sensible sentence in which all words begin with the same sound and yet none begin with the same letter.
Answer: Pneumonic gnomes knew mnemonic names.
What is so unusual about the number 2520?
Answer: 2520 is the lowest number into which all the digits from 1 to 10 will divide evenly.
Now compose a grammatical and sensible sentence in which all words begin with the same letter and yet none begin with the same sound.
Answer: Ptomaine poisons Pnom-Penh's psychedelic philosophers.
My first wears my second; my third might be what my first would acquire if he went to sea. Put together my one, two, three, and the belle of New York is the girl for me. What one word am I?
Answer: Manhattan.
What is it that we often return but never borrow?
Answer: Thanks.
What is the difference between a farmer and a seamstress?
Answer: One gathers what he sows, the other sews what she gathers.
What is the hardest thing to deal with?
Answer: An old deck of cards.
What was given to you, belongs to you exclusively and yet is used more by your friends than by yourself?
Answer: Your name.
If all the letters in the alphabet were on top of the highest mountain, which letter must leave first?
Answer: The letter "D" would begin the descent.
Every time you stand up, you lose this. What is it?
Answer: Your lap.
How are a jeweler and a jailer alike?
Answer: The jeweler sells watches and the jailer watches cells.
What stars should you stay away from?
Answer: Shooting stars.
What is the most important thing in the world?
Answer: The letter "e" because it is first in everybody and everything.
How much water can you put into an empty 2 quart jar?
Answer: None, it would not be empty.
If 20 blackbirds are on a fence and you shoot one, how many remain?
Answer: None, they would all fly away from the sound of the shot.
What runs around town all day and lies under the bed at night with its tongue hanging out?
Answer: Your shoes.
Where did King Arthur learn to joust?
Answer: In Knight school.
Why would you put money in a freezer?
Answer: To get some cold, hard cash.
Why was it so hard to find Abe Lincoln in Washington DC?
Answer: They were using his Gettysburg Address.
What is the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?
Answer: One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache.
What teaches without talking?
Answer: A book.
What can you count on no matter what?
Answer: Your fingers or toes (or both!).
What is the happiest state in the USA?
Answer: Maryland.
Where does Friday come before Thursday?
Answer: In the dictionary.
What is the reddest side of an apple?
Answer: The outside.
What musical note cannot vote?
Answer: A minor.
All of Jenn's pets are dogs except one, and all of her pets are cats except one. How many cats and dogs does Jenn have?
Answer: Jenn has one cat and one dog.
A prowler was able to see right through the brick wall of a house. How?
Answer: He looked through the window.
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Classic Riddles
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